The Power of Trust - my story

Current song : Come with me | shine the light - Chicago typewriter

'The Power of Trust', the topic itself brings me a chill feeling inside as if it holds a mysterious power. Trust. It got me to a time when I was at my lowest. I was 18 years young back then and the only female practicum leader in my lecture. It unfortunately happened. I was volunteering to assist the lecturer and turn out everyone voted for me for the position. It was a great experience though. Lively. Lovely. Very. 

'I was at my lowest.' 

You may think this thing is not much but I failed my chemistry exam years ago. Imagining myself as a practicum leader, I was really embarrassed and down. The guilty feelings running through my vein gave me the electrical impulse of nervousness. But, no one knows. Yes, not even my best friend knows the failure story, the failure journey but a man. My lecturer - Mr. Wong. 

From a girl's side, I will say Mr. Wong is a center of attraction on campus. The Top Chemistry lecturer on campus. Oh yes, the top Chemistry lecturer in Malaysia's matriculation rating. 4.00 pointer each year reflects his charisma and passion for teaching and sharing knowledge with his students. Despite his charming figure, that is a bonus. 

And God's plans. He is my chemistry lecturer. What do you think of a person that has made all his students receive 4.00 pointers in exams every year?

Talented - yes. 

Awesome- yes. 

Strict - absolutely.

Fierce - bingo.

Lucky you! - err, yes I am!

Thrilled, shivered, goosebumps, excited, oh name it, I've experienced it all. The feelings that we felt around him. Stoic, cold and mysterious.  And I guess that was what made him a respectable person. And I still do respect him. 

'The failure story only he knows.' 

No one knows but Mr Wong. The chemistry lecturer who teach, lecture, and examines my script. I prepared for the exams and yet stuck to answering the question. I still remember it was about molecular structure and bonds. I was blurred and pressured by the time. I know, I will fail. Ugh, what your minds says, that is what your result is. That was his first statement during his first lecture in the hall. The first class after induction week. And, this girl is still in her blurry state. 

A statement notice was received. We need to collect the exam paper at his office. My body shivered. My legs glued. I was really scared. I am embarrassed to Mr. Wong. I am a practicum leader. Yes, because of that. I was static in my position, my lips sealed and my eyes witnessed everything. Some of my friends were scolded and the rest is history. My mind keeps thinking 'what is next?' 'what will happen to me?', 'I will be scolded too', 'worse than them. I am prepared for the worse. 

It is my turn. I was the last person. I was alone. My classmate went home. Felt isolated, I took a step to his desk. I smiled but obviously, I know I am not. My eyes shone with nervousness and fear. I know, Mr. Wong noticed that. He looked into my eyes. No smile shape on his lips. His eyes spoke regret, disappointment, worry, and.. hope. He looked at my script. Obviously to the marks. Yeah, as expected I failed.. 

what your mind says, that is what your result is. 
There it goes, those words has been a spell to me. 

"This is not you. I know this is not you. I trust you."

His voice was slow but I could hear it. My mind throws a flashback. I received A's on his quizzes before. His smile and satisfied face played in my mind. Yes sir, I am sad and regret myself. I am embarrassed to you and I am really sorry. Those words were shouted in my heart. But my lips only said,

"I am sorry sir and thank you. Please pray for me." 

I was speechless. I was curious yet until now, I am still curious. I keep questioning myself, 

'why I was not scolded like the other?' 'I deserve to be scolded too, I was the worst 'what do I expect?'. 

Since then, I never turn back. I ensure myself to be his attention. I want to prove to myself that I will not disappoint him. I gave all my attention and focus to his assignments, quizzes, and exams. Finally, I got a 4.00 pointer in Chemistry subject. 

what your mind says, that is what your result is

and there is another one. A quote quoted from his notes and assignments. 

Perfect practice makes you perfect

The power of trust has shaped me into whom I am now. I have grown with the power of trust. A person who trust me when I was at my lowest. When I was in a state of not believe myself, there is a person who believe in me. A person who gives me hope and trust. I took it as a miracle and was the greatest gift from God.

This post I dedicated to my dearest chemistry lecturer, Mr. Wong. Sir, I am really thankful for the trust you gave me. It teaches me to grow, to be wise and mature, and to fight and survive. A really meaningful one. It is part of my greatest strength and motivation. I have faith in trust. Where ever you are sir, I pray for your health, happiness, and success. I am thankful and loved, sir. 

After all, that is the power of trust. I guess.