kitto mata aeru, nsf.

Tuhan, maafkan aku.  Tuhan, maafkan aku. Tuhanku, pulangkan jiwaku yang hilang itu. Tuhanku, Dakaplah hatiku yang walang itu.  Aku sedar aku khilaf, Tuhanku. Tuhanku, aku mahu pulang. Aku mahu pulang. 

Entah kenapa blog yang sudah usang ini menjengah fikiran. Ada rasa sunyi, ada rasa rindu. ada rasa sakit yang hadir bersama. Kebanyakan coretan dan curahan yang dimuntahkan di laman ini adalah bisikan-bisikan hati dan jeritan dari jiwa aku yang sunyi dan mungkin sepi dengan cinta.  Jujur, sebenarnya aku takut untuk menyatakan aku sepi dan sunyi. Kerana itu bermakna, aku mendeklerasikan bahawa aku.jauh.dari.Tuhan. ... Tidakkah itu lebih menakutkan? Bukankan cinta kepada Tuhan, akan mengindahkan segala rasa di hati, melapangkan segala ruang di jiwa?

 aku takut. Jujur aku takut. Aku seorang diri..

And she knows; The time has come - where she embraces uncertainty, and uncertainty embraces her.

dedicated this song to someone whom I missed. "Fox rain" I still don't understand love, so I cannot get any closer. But why does my foolish heart keep pounding?   I'm haunted by you again and again, I just can't get away. This hopeless love hurts my heart so much.   Going from day to night, you're all I think about. Being so pitiful and silly, what should I do?   Heart follows love, what am I going to do? This hopeless love hurts my heart so much.   tu viru viru ra fa~ tu viru viru ra fa~ tu viru viru.. tu viru viru.. tu viru viru.. ra fa~ tu viru viru ra fa~ tu viru viru ra fa~ tu viru viru.. tu viru viru..   Going from day to night, you're all I think about. Being so pitiful and silly, what should I do?   The day when my pain fades away, will that day ever come? Being so pitiful and silly, What can I do after all?   The moonlight is so beautiful, I just can't get away. Let me lie down by your side for a moment. A moment, just a moment.   tu viru...

I've fallen in love with a guy whom I dream to live my life with.  I keep cherishing the feelings alone, day by day. Silently, I whisper your name in my prayers - unseen I love the way you smile.  I love to see your smile. I'm happy to see you happy. It brights my shallow days. naive - that was what I've been . you... you belong to someone else.  you... you have someone else. I can't find myself in your heart your eyes whom I admire It shines for a girl that wasn't me It hurts. I know, I should know from the start. naive- I was only the one who loves you silently.

little that I realize, I wrote the whole page about you only to realize that now you are not mine-  You belong to someone else And I here slowly efface all those reveries I do not know where to go I will just walk on this lonely road With a little dust of hope, to see a light again this is a goodbye